Embarrassing

I am sitting here on my back porch, listening to the fountain and Garth Brooks, enjoying this gorgeous weather tonight.  I am thinking about my weekend and past week.  Because see....I had an embarrassing weekend.

We all have those embarrassing moments in our life.  They can be just a second or days long.  I've had all the classics...farted in class...as a student and teacher, slipped going down, up or just by the stairs, played the wrong notes in performances or competitions, yelled out loud at an inappropriate time in a pep rally....I could keep going.

This weekend is no exception to the classic embarrassment.  Some may thing some of these things are not embarrassing, but they are for me, so humor me.  I shall list them in order as they happened.

1.  Friday night...go out to Pluckers and drink 2 very large glasses of beer.  Good times.  However, it made my inhibitions go down and I just talked and talked about myself and my problems.  Yes I was out with friends and that is what we are here for, but lately I feel I only ever talk about my issues.  Plus I sent ridiculous text messages.  Sorry to the receiver of those texts.

2.  Friday night....a friend comes over after the beer and I have more beer!  We talk and talk and talk, because again, when my inhibitions are down....and I was glad to get out some stuff, but geez...tired of having to get the stuff out.

3.  Saturday morning....I wake up exactly in time to leave to get my haircut.  I am now rushing out the door to drive to Burleson for my haircut.  I am stuck in the God awful traffic of I35 and thanking God I do not live over there anymore.  A bonus from the divorce!  So needless to say I was late.  So rude.

4.  Saturday afternoon at said haircut....I ask my hairstylist about my ex.  Let me explain something, my ex and I share the same hairstylist.  So I just had put her in an awkward position.  She answered my questions, and I got upset.  I should not have put her in that position.  So....I no longer have my hairstylist.  I cancelled my next appointment and told her that I would not be coming back.  That I can not have the curiousity to ask about my ex.  While I was at it, I called my ex's uncle and told him that I can not longer talk to him or the family.  I needed to cut all ties to my ex.

5.  Saturday afternoon....Now I am bawling my eyes out on my way to my little cousins 5th bday party.  My sister called and told me to go home.  I was too emotional.  So I missed the bday.  I am so sorry baby!!!

6. Saturday Evening...I am doing a 10K tonight!  What was I thinking?  It took me 90 minutes!  I was one of the last ones to finish!!!  I'm all walking in to the finish line and they are picking up cones behind me.

7.  Saturday evening....here is the final embarrassment.  The embarrassment of all embarrassments.  We are at Fuzzy's getting tacos for after the race.  I eat 4 nachos and feel sick.  I stand up and head to the bathroom.  I pass a big trashcan on the way.  I should have stopped there, but no....I must make it to the bathroom.  I get maybe 10 feet away and I vomit.  Into my napkin at first, but then the projectile starts.  I am now puking all the way to the bathroom.  I get in bathroom and puke all over the stall and then finally make it over the toilet.  And I continue to puke.  For like 5 minutes.  And no...I did not have any beer that day at all!

Why do I share all this embarrassment for you?  Well, back to why I am not America's Sweetheart.  I am a mess!  I think America's Sweetheart would have her shit together.  She would be fine with all this crap going on in her life.  She would be ready to move on with her life and be happy.  That's not me.  I let my emotions get the best of me to the point of exhaustion and puking.

I will say I did feel better though.  Not just physically, but emotionally too.  It's like I threw up all the junk I was holding inside. Finding out all the shit I learned this week about my ex put me over the edge.  I thought it wouldn't bother me, but like my last post said....it did bother me a lot.  So I guess I kept that anger in.  Well it came out all over Fuzzy's Tacos Shop.  All over it.  And I feel better.  I do.

I will leave you with this image for tonight.  I'm sure that is what the cleaning boy thought as he had to clean up my vomit.