We have reached summer. Thank you Jesus! So...tonight I blog!
I came across a quote the other day. It has really stuck with me lately.
"Everything comes full circle. It doesn't matter what it looks like now. Good people have better things coming and bad people have bad things coming. As long as the world is turning, what goes around will come around. Man sees the now, but God knows the future. Man judges what you show, God knows your heart. You'll get what you deserve so make sure your heart is in the right place at all times! @TonyGaskins"
I've been thinking a lot about an old friend lately. I lost him in my divorce. I used to think it was all his fault. He chose my ex. Not me. So therefore, he is wrong. (BTW...his favorite song just came on Pandora right this second....coincidence?!?!) I felt he should understand that I was in the right. I was the victim. Why could he not get that? Why would he even still talk to my ex? The man cheated on me! How could you still be his friend? He broke our little circle!!!! But.....then again....did he really choose my ex? Or did I dive him to that?
I was a mess during the divorce. Angry, crying, depressed, anxious....it was bad. I couldn't get through a day without crying. I wanted to hear my friend say he was there for me. That he understood why I was so upset. That he would be by my side during this difficult time. But he couldn't do that. Fucktard put him in awkward position. He shouldn't have to choose. He was both of our friend.
But here we are now....the divorce is way over. I am finally feeling happy again. I am seeing clarity about the divorce and am learning from it. I am helping others who are going through divorces. God is using me in a way I never thought I would have to be in. So...why am I thinking of my friend?
The quote...who is the bad person? Who is the good person? Who the fuck cares? The last line is what is really speaking to me....You'll get what you deserve so make sure your heart is in the right place at all times. That is huge. I have worked so hard this past year and half on making sure my heart is in the right place. But this line is so important for my friend right now....He'll get what he deserves...but I don't know where his heart is right now.
The quote also speaks to me because I know that all that happened....what goes around comes around. My unhappiness is leaving...so is their happiness leaving them? I will never know this answer....only God does. A wise friend said to me, "They will have to stand before God someday and be judged for this." It is not something I will see....but know it will come. And truly that is all that matters. And if we work on making sure our hearts are in the right place, in the end...we get what we deserve...Him.
I will leave you with this picture. The girl in it is me....I do that look all the time. The more and more I think about all that has happened....I just get that look! But I better be careful...don't want my wrinkles to come back!
