Merry Christmas everyone! I hope your day was a wonderful day spent with family and friends, celebrating! Mine was fabulous! I got to spend the day the way I wanted to spend it! Let's go over some background....
For 10 years, 10!, I have spent Christmas day away from my family. My family and I got together Christmas Eve...but Christmas Day? I was spending Christmas Day with his family. Now, I love his family, dearly, so I never minded it. They were my family too! So, of course I would do anything to keep the peace and make others happy. So, we would get up at the crack of dawn to do our Christmas, go to his parents house for Christmas morning, then to his stepdad's Dad's house for Christmas lunch and then spend Christmas Evening at his Grandma's house. Such a busy and hectic day, but spent with people I love very much so I was always okay with it.
But this Christmas? I got to sleep in! Till 9:30!!!! I didn't know you were allowed to sleep in Christmas!!! Then I got to have my mom's yummy breakfast casserole and muffins for breakfast!!!! Then I got to open my gifts from my parents Christmas Day! Just like when I was little! The rest of the day was snacking on shrimp and dip, eating lasagna (yes!!) for dinner, coloring, Suduko, movies, laying on the couch, doing JibJabs and cracking up with my sister. Laughing with my baby sister! I haven't done that in so long! Hear my Dad's laugh. Seeing my Mom rolling her eyes at dinner. All on Christmas Day! 10 years is a long time to not have done that. No one ever asked if I missed this. No one ever questioned me about if I was okay not doing this with my family. The decision was always made for me. I just went along with it.
I don't have anyone making decisions for me anymore and you know what? It is liberating!!!!!!! I am in charge of my own decisions! I am in charge of what I choose to do and not to do!!! I get to do what I want to do!
I've had many praying for me these holidays. I am not going to lie to you....I dreaded the holidays coming. I thought I would get stuck in a depression. I thought it was going to be so hard doing this without him. Well, it wasn't hard at all. I actually enjoyed it....immensely. Halloween, my favorite holiday, was hard. But I had just come off from the week I was off for having mono....I was exhausted! Thanksgiving was the cruise and I have decided (because I can!!!!) that I want to do a Thanksgiving Cruise every year from now on. That was the best ever! Again, more details to come! Well that cruise gave me the confidence to fight Christmas. I wasn't sad. I wasn't depressed. I was with family that loves me and that I love. I was with friends the days leading up to Christmas laughing and having a blast!!!
I picked the meme that I did at the beginning of this blog for two reasons. 1. I like wine. 2. When you first see this card you think it's a little depressing. She's drinking a bottle to drown her sorrow of being just her for Christmas. But...look at it through my eyes...I am actually celebrating it just being me this Christmas. Drink a bottle of wine and celebrate your independence!!!! Toast it, not drown it!
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