This is why I am excited about Fall. I am needing to learn that change can be beautiful. I am hoping that this season I learn this.
On a lighter note today....I finally felt like a successful teacher this school year. It has been a rough time back. Getting into the swing of things has taken these kiddos some time. We are almost done with the 1st 6 weeks and today I thought, "I can do this. I feel like I actually helped some kids learn today." Today we were spending our 3rd day on dividing with 2 digit divisors. This is a challenge for most of my students. My 2nd class is, how do I put it?... A mess. Well, some of the more challenging ones were actually getting it! They were dividing, by themselves, without whining or freaking out, or asking me for my undivided attention. They were using the strategies I had taught and were doing it! I needed this success today!
See...this is my 14th year as a teacher. With all the change that happened in my life with my divorce, I started to question my career too. I have always loved being a teacher. It is the one constant thing in my life. I've thought about other careers, but they were usually exotic ones....a CSI agent, a funeral director, a world traveler like Rick Steves, paranormal investigator. ( I guess a funeral director isn't exotic...but I always thought I'd be good at it!) But teaching is my true passion. After the divorce though, I didn't feel like a good teacher. I zoned out. Went into survival mode. And all this after I got teacher of the year at my school. I felt awful. I couldn't enjoy the fact that I was being rewarded for my passion! For what I loved to do more than anything. Instead...I got to endure the pain of divorce. I've never said this out loud. He took away my joy. My joy was lost for awhile. But...it's been coming back. Ever so slowly.
Well...fuck the lighter note....I went drama real fast! Always drama!
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